david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
