i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
