I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
