Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
