We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
