I can tuck mytits in my pants
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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