i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
