Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
