all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize