i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
