If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
