Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
