How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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