and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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