Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
