I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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