Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
