I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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