Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
