We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
