I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
