i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
