Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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