I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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