I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
