Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
