if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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