Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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