You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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