He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
