Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
