i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
