You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
