you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
