In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize