Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
