Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize