the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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