And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
