thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just found puke in my bra..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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