Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
