I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The uberlube is also flammable
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
