I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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