dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
