sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Green mimosas i think yes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
