Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
