She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
