So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
