Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
