Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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