Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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