Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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