Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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