I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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