I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you will always have a special place in my vag
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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