I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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