You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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