So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
