I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
