You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I want a musical about memes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
