Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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