I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
