I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
