You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
