Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
