all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
