At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize