Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Duck Duck Cougar?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
