i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
