btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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