i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can I color on your dick again?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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