i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
