idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize