I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
